GOD - The mystery unravelled!!!

Disclaimer :- Any views or opinions expressed in this post are solely those of the author and they might differ from the actual facts.

How many of us get up in the morning, have a bath and head to the pooja room to say a little prayer to God? I remember I used to do it before I started wondering what the purpose of doing all that is. I realised that the only reason I used to do it was to be relieved from any kind of stress. And so now the question was that why should I have to stand in front of the idol of "God" to do that. More importantly, how did the idols of god come to existence in the first place. I thought long and hard about it and then I came up with my own theory of God.

Before I get into my theory, I'd like to reiterate that this is solely my view of how the Gods that we pray to everyday came into existence. So, all those ardent followers of God, this is probably the right time to close this tab. Also, since I have no proof to say that Iam right, I will entertain all kinds of comments. Now that I have hopefully saved myself from e-bashing, I'll put forth my theory of God.

Instead of explaining how the already widely popular gods came into existence, I'll explain my theory in futuristic terms and then you can probably draw the analogies. Lets assume a hypothetical situation where almost the whole of mankind is wiped out all of a sudden due to some reason. (There are so many possiblities, pick one!!). So now the Earth is left with a few brave survivors. (I would've wiped out the entire life on Earth but then I'll have to explain the reason for the presence of life again in the future). Anyways, due to these survivors, life still exists on Earth and so lets fast forward to thousands of years in the future. Clearly, it is in the nature of humans to not sit down and do nothing and so they dig :P. And what do they find? They find the Harry Potter series at many different places of the world :D (Not a Harry Potter fan. Its ok. Replace Harry Potter with your own hero. SRK maybe :P). I have not read too many novels but from whatever little reading I've done, I've realised that unless you know apriori that a novel is fiction, there is no way for one to figure out that it isn't. So, this future generation, lets call them "The Future Morons", read al the wonderous things that HP does and how he saves his people by fighting the most evilest of evils throughout his life. They might also find posters of "HP-the God" if they are lucky!! Similarly, they might find statues of Gandhi if they dig deeper. In Gandhi, they find another God. In this way, "The future Morons" dig themselves into a spirtual pit. I mean, what other reason could they have to explain the presence of statues of the same person at many different places in the world and also the miraculous things that they did.

This is my Theory of God. Well, it might have sounded lame to most of them but I hope atleast a few of them find it interesting. I hold this theory very dear to me because, well its mine for one, but also since I strongly believe that this will act as an eye opener to those who blindly believe in their "Gods". Believe in the existence of a superpower, but please don't try to give names and idolize it since it will only create differences among people.

MY DREAD GIRL - A SPOOF OF MY DREAM GIRL

It all started with Aditya writing a post about his "dream girl". It was basically about this girl who appeared in his dream and stole his heart, apparently. A huge movie fan that Iam, I was touched by his romantic story. And so I thought that maybe its time for me to have such a dream too. And so I waited and I hoped and I slept and bam, I had a dream....

I remember the exact location. It was HELL(what the heck was i doing thr??!!). Anyways, there i was standing in the queue, pissing my pants off, looking at people getting some of the goriest of punishments whilst waiting for my own. There was this amazingly gorgeous female whose trial was going on. Chatter Guptil(The English version of Chitragupta) read out the list of sins committed by her and I thought, "Not bad enough to deserve much". Suddenly, Satan frowned, "1000 lashes and then drown her in boiling oil". Now, I wasn't sure what sins I had committed but I sure as hell couldn't have done any better than her. Moreover, she was so beautiful. I mean, Satan had to be so gay to have dished out such a punishment to a girl like her. If that was indeed true, i thought, my odds of a slightly lenient punishment had gone up. Anyways, just as I was acquainting myself with fellow sinners, suddenly, this girl came up to me and gave me a smile. She was dark, 4 ft tall, 200kgs wearing a black skirt and had those evil horns and her smile, oh my god, those punishments didn't seem so bad anymore. She was easily the ugliest thing I had ever seen in my life despite considering the fact that I had spent 4 yrs of my life in Chennai. I guess she was one of those who executed the orders of the Satan. Anyways, she told me she felt like she knew me before and I was like "What the hell!! I'd never been to Africa in my entire life. It is impossible!!". She nonchalantly replied, "Whatever dear!! I love you". Those very words had barely left her mouth that I realized the gravity of the situation and I started running for my life. I looked back only to find that there was a huge battalion of gigantic demons chasing me but none of them scared me more than that ugly bitch hunting me down. I was running as fast as I could but she kept gaining on me. A million things were going on in my mind at that very moment. "What does Satan feed these sickos that they just don't seem to tire at all", "Did I just worsen my odds by trying to escape?", "What sins did I commit in the first place, that Iam having to go through all this trauma". So, there I was, running, trying to save myself from hell in hell and then I hear the sweet music of "Viva la vida". It was my cellphone.

Luckily for me, before I could dare end that nightmare of mine, my professor calls me and asks me to come to the lab. I couldn't thank him more for what he had just done.

END OF STORY

P.S: I am not a racist!! I just like nigger jokes :D

Earth Hour, Kash and all that...

March 28

Most of the guys in the wing had gone home. Some of them coz it was Ugadi and some others just coz it was a weekend!!! Kash(Aakash), weird as it may seem, decided not to go home. Well, after how some events unfolded, i hardly am surprised. Oh btw, it reminds me the purpose of this post. First of all, thanks to all those who said that the post were good. Pity praises? Not that it is inspiring or anything( :P) but that it is a relief to know that Iam not the only one who is reading this. Anyways, Kash read my blog too and he said,"U need to show a fuck all attitude in your blog!!!". Now thats the nature of this guy, he "suggests" stuff. Never really implements anything. So, dude, this one's dedicated to you. You get what you asked for :D and Iam not sorry at all.

Back to that day. We d our lunch and when we came back to the wing, we saw Kash with that "grin"on his face. Whenever he has something to tell, he grins and then when people ask him why, he tells the story. And so this time, we didnt :D Finally, when he couldn't resist the temptation anymore he came up to us and said," Guys. What do u think abt that Earth hour crap. Wat say we all do the exact opposite of it. Keep all the lights on. Let us show wat morons ppl are!!". Honestly, at that moment, I really didn't decide what I wanted to do about the Earth Hour. Hell, I didnt even know much abt it. But after he said that, I felt that, with the world made up of sadists like these, maybe such a thing is necessary. Plus, I really liked the idea of going to the terrace :P So, I told him to fk off!!!

Later that night, when the time came(8.30 PM), I promptly switched off all the lights and then we all went to the terrace. It was amazing. It always feels nice when we go to the terrace. I wonder why we dont do that more often. For some reason, I felt like listening to "Emosanal Atyachar" :P Not that I was feeling this was any kind of atyachar. I was wondering why not, instead of doing this, the Govts decide to have a worldwide power cut on that very hour.

Finally, after it was over, we went back to the wing only to find Kash's room locked with all the lights on inside it. Kash, for all the shit that you told us in the afty, u didnt even hav the balls to own up to wat u did. Shame on U!!!! Now hows that for attitude? :)

Can Utd win the quintuple this season?

I guess it must be the initial enthu but here is another post in quick succession. And wat better topic to choose for my first "content" post than Man Utd. For all those who dont hav a clue as to wat the topic is, Man Utd(short for Manchester United) is a professional football club which plays in the EPL(English Premier League). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manchester_united for the wiki-maniacs. The quintuple here refers to the 5 competitions that they can potentially win this season viz. The Premier League, The FA Cup, The Carling Cup, The Club World Championship and The UEFA Champions League. Well, it would've been 6 but they lost to Zenit in the Super Cup finals :( They hav already taken a couple of major steps in their pursuit for the quintuple by winning the CWC and the CC. They are leading the EPL by a point and hav a game in hand. They are in the semis of the FA cup and the quarters of the CL.

The Premier League

A couple of weeks ago, the premier league had only 1 winner. Utd were cruising with a 7 point lead over Liverpool and a game in hand. But successive losses, the first time since 2005, meant that the gap is now only 1 point but they still hav that crucial game in hand. Honestly, I've never seen utd look so shaken up. Their manager Ferguson is so concerned that he refused Sky Sports offer to prepone their match against villa so that they can hav an extra day to prepare for their game gainst porto. The priority has suddenly shifted back to the premiership. Although they hav some very tricky fixtures against arsenal, city and boro, I still feel utd hav enough about them to seal the deal.

The FA Cup

Big players rise to the big occassion, they say. Semifinal against everton at the new Wembley is an occassion enough to inspire the squad and with everton missing their playmaker Arteta, it should be easy. It is the final which is a big concern coz the other side of the pool sees a chelsea
and arsenal face-off. So, after a long time, FA cup will hav a potentially mouth watering final between 2 of the "Big four" of the premiership.

The Champions League

I knw it is a little too early to be talking abt utd's chances in the CL but wat the hell, iam just predicting. Fergie was smiling after the draw for the later stages of the CL were taken. Clearly, Utd has the easiest of the paths to Rome. I hope it is a Utd Bayern final just like the time when utd won the treble only this time, it will be the stage whr utd could collect the last piece of the puzzle, the quintuple.

So, finally, after all the bull shitting i hav done, the bottomline is that the ans to the quest is "Hell Yeah!!"

My first post

(It was 2:30 AM on a thursday - like it really mattered!!)

There I was lying on my bed, trying hard to sleep but as always, a million thoughts were in my mind. Football, Man Utd, Girls, Singapore, IIMs and yes, how can I forget, the evil BEE TEE PEE :( Out of nowhere, I remembered this one time when Uncle(my wingmate) said that Iam a maths and science guy and that I cannot appreciate anything artistic. So, I decided, to prove that fat fuck wrong!!!. And thats how the idea of creating a blog came. Honestly, if I hadn't broken my principles bfore, I'd hav never even thought abt it, but alas, I already did!! (Dont ask me the details :P) So, now it was no big deal. Iam not a man of principles anymore but on the bright side, I hav a blog :)

Now, I'll try to keep all my posts simple, free frm all those complicated words whr ppl will hav to keep looking up the dict(I hate such stuff. I mean wat's the point in trying to tell something in a way that they cant understand??!!). In truth, it is not so much that i wont use such words, I just cant :P And regarding the language, mom and dad, if u happen to find out abt this, Iam sry :P

I haven't read too many blogs to tell if this has been a really long post but i just thought i should clear up a couple of more things bfore i get started. Regarding the title of the blog, well i really had no idea at that point of time. And coming to the URL, i initially gave "check availability" coz it was written thr :P but apparently someone got to it bfore i could. Strange!! So anyways, it suggested "Chuck-availability" and i thought, "y not!!".