GOD - The mystery unravelled!!!

Disclaimer :- Any views or opinions expressed in this post are solely those of the author and they might differ from the actual facts.

How many of us get up in the morning, have a bath and head to the pooja room to say a little prayer to God? I remember I used to do it before I started wondering what the purpose of doing all that is. I realised that the only reason I used to do it was to be relieved from any kind of stress. And so now the question was that why should I have to stand in front of the idol of "God" to do that. More importantly, how did the idols of god come to existence in the first place. I thought long and hard about it and then I came up with my own theory of God.

Before I get into my theory, I'd like to reiterate that this is solely my view of how the Gods that we pray to everyday came into existence. So, all those ardent followers of God, this is probably the right time to close this tab. Also, since I have no proof to say that Iam right, I will entertain all kinds of comments. Now that I have hopefully saved myself from e-bashing, I'll put forth my theory of God.

Instead of explaining how the already widely popular gods came into existence, I'll explain my theory in futuristic terms and then you can probably draw the analogies. Lets assume a hypothetical situation where almost the whole of mankind is wiped out all of a sudden due to some reason. (There are so many possiblities, pick one!!). So now the Earth is left with a few brave survivors. (I would've wiped out the entire life on Earth but then I'll have to explain the reason for the presence of life again in the future). Anyways, due to these survivors, life still exists on Earth and so lets fast forward to thousands of years in the future. Clearly, it is in the nature of humans to not sit down and do nothing and so they dig :P. And what do they find? They find the Harry Potter series at many different places of the world :D (Not a Harry Potter fan. Its ok. Replace Harry Potter with your own hero. SRK maybe :P). I have not read too many novels but from whatever little reading I've done, I've realised that unless you know apriori that a novel is fiction, there is no way for one to figure out that it isn't. So, this future generation, lets call them "The Future Morons", read al the wonderous things that HP does and how he saves his people by fighting the most evilest of evils throughout his life. They might also find posters of "HP-the God" if they are lucky!! Similarly, they might find statues of Gandhi if they dig deeper. In Gandhi, they find another God. In this way, "The future Morons" dig themselves into a spirtual pit. I mean, what other reason could they have to explain the presence of statues of the same person at many different places in the world and also the miraculous things that they did.

This is my Theory of God. Well, it might have sounded lame to most of them but I hope atleast a few of them find it interesting. I hold this theory very dear to me because, well its mine for one, but also since I strongly believe that this will act as an eye opener to those who blindly believe in their "Gods". Believe in the existence of a superpower, but please don't try to give names and idolize it since it will only create differences among people.

MY DREAD GIRL - A SPOOF OF MY DREAM GIRL

It all started with Aditya writing a post about his "dream girl". It was basically about this girl who appeared in his dream and stole his heart, apparently. A huge movie fan that Iam, I was touched by his romantic story. And so I thought that maybe its time for me to have such a dream too. And so I waited and I hoped and I slept and bam, I had a dream....

I remember the exact location. It was HELL(what the heck was i doing thr??!!). Anyways, there i was standing in the queue, pissing my pants off, looking at people getting some of the goriest of punishments whilst waiting for my own. There was this amazingly gorgeous female whose trial was going on. Chatter Guptil(The English version of Chitragupta) read out the list of sins committed by her and I thought, "Not bad enough to deserve much". Suddenly, Satan frowned, "1000 lashes and then drown her in boiling oil". Now, I wasn't sure what sins I had committed but I sure as hell couldn't have done any better than her. Moreover, she was so beautiful. I mean, Satan had to be so gay to have dished out such a punishment to a girl like her. If that was indeed true, i thought, my odds of a slightly lenient punishment had gone up. Anyways, just as I was acquainting myself with fellow sinners, suddenly, this girl came up to me and gave me a smile. She was dark, 4 ft tall, 200kgs wearing a black skirt and had those evil horns and her smile, oh my god, those punishments didn't seem so bad anymore. She was easily the ugliest thing I had ever seen in my life despite considering the fact that I had spent 4 yrs of my life in Chennai. I guess she was one of those who executed the orders of the Satan. Anyways, she told me she felt like she knew me before and I was like "What the hell!! I'd never been to Africa in my entire life. It is impossible!!". She nonchalantly replied, "Whatever dear!! I love you". Those very words had barely left her mouth that I realized the gravity of the situation and I started running for my life. I looked back only to find that there was a huge battalion of gigantic demons chasing me but none of them scared me more than that ugly bitch hunting me down. I was running as fast as I could but she kept gaining on me. A million things were going on in my mind at that very moment. "What does Satan feed these sickos that they just don't seem to tire at all", "Did I just worsen my odds by trying to escape?", "What sins did I commit in the first place, that Iam having to go through all this trauma". So, there I was, running, trying to save myself from hell in hell and then I hear the sweet music of "Viva la vida". It was my cellphone.

Luckily for me, before I could dare end that nightmare of mine, my professor calls me and asks me to come to the lab. I couldn't thank him more for what he had just done.

END OF STORY

P.S: I am not a racist!! I just like nigger jokes :D